


Fan Mail

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Series: Reviled Hearts [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Epistolary, F/M, Humor, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8623252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: Umbridge writes her favorite quidditch player a fanletter, and receives a reply.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a twoshot, because somehow the randomizer managed to throw me the exact same pairing twice. (Each character should have appeared in two different pairings since the list was scrambled against another copy of itself to make the pairings... )
> 
> The "implied/referenced rape" is in the second chapter and references the fan theory that Umbridge was raped by centaurs in OOTP.

~ Fan Mail ~

My dearest Pyotr Vulchanov,

You truly are one of the best Beaters that any Quidditch team has ever seen, and watching you in the World Cup match was simply amazing. Simply amazing! (Even though your team lost the match... and really, what was that ridiculous Krum thinking, catching the Snitch when your team was down by so many points? Terrible! Should have been thrown off the team, in my humble opinion.)

Anyway, I have been following your career for years now, and let me just say that watching you play in person was absolutely magical - _Absolutely. Magical_. I only hope that I have the chance to do so again in the future.

With much love from your biggest fan,  
Dolores Jane Umbridge

~ end ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord, that was difficult to write. Trying to get into Umbridge's mind... ick.


	2. Chapter 2

~ Fan Mail ~

Dear Dolores,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I have been very busy and I am not so good at the English language. (In fact, I am having a translator write this down for me, so hopefully he does not bungle the translation too badly. Ha ha.)

I enjoyed your letters very much. (Especially since most of the fan mail my team receives is addressed either to the entire team or directly to Krum. Seekers get all the glory...)

I miss hearing from you, but I have heard that life with a newborn can be very difficult, especially on a single parent. I can't imagine how much more difficult a baby centaur must be to deal with than a normal wizard baby, even with the magic.

Please write when you can.

Sincerely,  
Pyotr Vulchanov

~ end ~


End file.
